Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
