who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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