So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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