Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
