I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
