it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
