i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
