oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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