I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
