Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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