you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
