he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
