would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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