Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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