Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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