you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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