I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
