if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
