I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
