I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Someone shit on the floor
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
