Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
