You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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