I need help removing her.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
