fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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