JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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