mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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