are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
