You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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