You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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