is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
try to milk me bitch
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