sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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