Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
