Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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