I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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