I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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