i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize