Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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