I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
