Pappa wants mamma naked
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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