I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
