The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just pynch a tree in the face
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
