i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
