turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
