if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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