i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
