I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
