I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
