I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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