We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
