i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...