is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
