HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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