You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
