Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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