shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
organizing the empties. That sober.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
