So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
