I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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