Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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