I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
