My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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