I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
