I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
