six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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