Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
