I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
